Check out the spring/summer edition of 104.1′s SE Tennessee Women, a magazine that serves the women of the greater Cleveland area where I have an article on surviving the wedding season as a single person.
I have an article coming out on the “holiday blues” in the fall/winter edition of 104.1′s SE Tennessee Women, a magazine that serves the women of the greater Cleveland area. It should be out soon. Check it out.
I was asked to write a short article on parenting children after the divorce for 104.1′s SE Tennessee Woman. I was told it would be in the Spring edition. Check it out. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Check out the following website for an article written by Erica Tuggle on my practice in Cleveland: http://www.hamiltoncountyherald.com/
She contacted me for an interview a few weeks ago. Her article details some of my comments and interests.
I am taking a rare week off from seeing clients the second week of January to co-teach a graduate class on Gender Studies. It is a week long intensive class that lasts all day, every day. Teaching and other educational pursuits are wonderful ways to stay current as a therapist. I am looking forward to the dialogue and learning that will take place!
I am thrilled to have been asked to speak to a group of 7th and 8th grade girls along with their parents next Saturday, November 20th. See the additional information below of catch an interview with Dr. Raymond Brown and myself on J103.1 this coming Tuesday sometime between 7:30 AM and 8 AM.
Chattanooga Area 7th & 8th Grade Girl’s Forum: A non-denominational event for 7th & 8th grade girls and their parents to gain information from experts on successful strategies for dealing with concerns related to friendships, family and self-esteem with an emphasis on Christian values. Event will be held November 20th, from 1:00-5:00 at Collegedale Community Church, (423.396.5464). Please visit http://www.collegedalecommunity.com/forum for more information and to register.
Speakers will be Dr. Raymond Brown and Emily Stone, a father/daughter team who are Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists in Cleveland, TN with a passion for families and ministry. Cost is $10/family. Please don’t let the cost be a burden to you. Contact the church if you cannot afford the registration fee. Childcare will be provided.
One the greatest joys in my private practice is being part of the journey for so many girls and their families. Each family is unique in the strengths and struggles. My respect for my clients and their resiliency through the many transitions and crises life throws their way is great. Leonard Sax’s new book, Girls on the Edge: The Four Factors Driving the New Crisis for Girls is a book for anyone parenting a girl or for any professional such teachers, coaches, therapists, physicians, ministers, etc. offering services to a girl and her family. He explores four factors to consider in the development of girls: their sexual identity (and culture’s early sexualization of their identity), the “cyberbubble” (being hyperconnected online and disconnected in life), obsessions (such as appearances, sports, school, etc.), and environmental toxins.
One aspect of Sax’s books that I appreciate is that he does not just throw a lot of negative influences he sees in the world and then leave you hanging. He goes on to devote a chapter to the mind, body, and the spirit with various suggestions for how to be aware of a girls’ needs and how to parent her through her development.
If you missed his earlier books, Boys Adrift and Why Gender Matters, these books are also worth a close look.
I welcome people from all walks of life into my office. It is my desire that people from a variety of cultural and religious backgrounds feel comfortable choosing to do therapy work with me. I regularly work with people who are religious and non-religious.
It is said that good therapists are aware of who they are and always working towards a better understanding of their selfhood and how their selfhood influences their work.
I am a licensed therapist and I am a Christian. My faith influences everything I do. As already mentioned, I have people from a wide variety of backgrounds walk through my door. I also have a lot of Christians who come for therapy. This weekly post is a tribute to them and to that most significant part of my identity.
There is an idea in couples counseling, not attached to any religious dogma, called “act as if”. You don’t love her anymore, but wish you did? Well, try acting as if you love her for several weeks and see what happens. This idea that stands on research tells the tale that behavior itself can and does shape emotional experience. Too often we wait to feel like it before we do it and for our behavior to follow…the exact opposite of which we teach our children. “I didn’t say you had like going to school today. I just said you had to go to school.”
We see this happen all the time with parenting and teaching children. We are told to build on the positives. If we want a child to be positive, well-behaved, and a good student, then it is beneficial to treat the child as a positive, well-behaved, and a good student. The “acting as if” seems to communicate an expectation that pulls out for what we are hoping in the child.
God seems to love to “act as if”. Romans 7:17 calls the God of the bible “the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.” He blessed me and loves on me and “acts as if” I am His lovable child rather than His child who can be petulant and moody…and somewhere along the way, His “acting as if” parenting begins to shape me into a more lovable person.
For those of us who get up and go to church every Sunday for weekly worship, we already know all about this. Do you always feel like getting up and going to church? Of course not. Have you ever had the experience of being glad that you did go after you got up and went? Me, too.
“I don’t want to be a hypocrite. There are too many hypocrites in the world”. Too bad. We each are a hypocrite because we each are humans. Even Paul said in Romans 7:17: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
This idea can apply to our relationship with our self, too. I have heard it said that being an adult is being your own mom or dad. When you were a child, hopefully your mom or dad told you to eat your vegetables, to go to bed at a decent time, to get up and be active and go to school. They made your doctor and dentist appointments and drove you there, etc. Who does all of those things now? Hopefully, if you are an adult, you do. However, when the busy-ness of our culture takes over or even mild depression ultimately sets in, it can be challenging to “feel like” parenting ourselves. We don’t feel like cultivating friendships or taking care of our bodies. We don’t feel like loving ourselves as Matthew 22:39 makes it clear we need to, which makes it difficult to love others.
So, this Monday when you don’t feel like you love your spouse, when you don’t feel like you love your life, or even when you feel like you don’t love yourself, try “acting as if”. Get up with a smile, go for a walk in the sun, and see what happens to your attitude. Look for God to “call things that are not as though they were” and to “give life to the dead” stuff in your life.
***This post is in no way attempting to insinuate that a person can just “smile” their way out of depression or a serious crisis in a couple relationship.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? You are not alone.
Based on the fact that a high percentage of my clients seem to struggle with some issue of chronic pain or illness, I decided that this issue is significant for many individuals seeking help and decided that my practice required that I seek additional training in this area. I applaud and greatly respect my clients who have taken the initiative in the face of great pain and discomfort with the hope of a better quality of life. I learn so much from them as we work together. Successful treatment for chronic pain and/or chronic illness is multi-disciplinary in its approach. Research reveals that therapy with a trained professional is a smart choice for part of a multi-disciplinary treatment plan.
Research indicates that people with chronic pain have a greater likelihood to experience depression and anxiety. People facing chronic pain and/or chronic illness wrestle with the accompanying issues of financial stress, changes in interpersonal relationships, increased physician appointments, and sometimes the undesirable side effects of their medication, which they often are frustrated they need to take in the first place. These stressors have an exacerbating effect on the pain and illness themselves and it can become a frustrating and overwhelming cycle.
There is strong evidence that certain types of therapy are helpful in reducing the symptoms of depression and anxiety related to chronic pain and/or illness. If clients are willing to be active participants in therapy, the benefits can be significant.
Books recommended:
Donogue, P.J. & Siegel, M.E. (2000). Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. New York: W & W Norton Company.
Fishman, S. & Berger, L. (2001). The War on Pain. New York: Quill
See also:
Tacón, A. M., Caldera, Y. M., Ronaghan, C., (2004). Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction in Women With Breast Cancer. Families, Systems, & Health, 22, 193-203.
Hofmann, S. G., Sawyer, A. T., Witt, A. A., Oh, D. (2010). The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78, 169-183.
